Lucky in Life

There are so many things that I could complain about...

But I'm not gonna!

Truth is, when I stand back and take a good view of my life, I feel so fortunate for everything that I have. I know what you are thinking, whoa Shan, random post! But really, it's not. A few things have gone on to the people around me lately that have made me feel even more blessed for the life I am living.

Now, that being said, my life is not perfect. I live with imperfections, things that are unfair and don't make any sense, people (well...person) out there who still hates on me for no reason and makes a mockery of them self doing so. I am overweight. I still live with infertility and know that the chances of us conceiving on our own are just as low as the day we started. We sometimes still live paycheck to paycheck and have to go to Mom and Dad for help... but here is the thing....

The things that are unfair and don't make sense only make us stronger. If I feel as though my family was handed a bad deck of cards I get over it, we pull together and we move on as a team. My boys are my life and my Husband is my best friend, that is what makes things that are unfair not matter. There is one person that hates on me, BUT, I have tons of friends who love me. I am overweight but I can-no wait- I WILL lose that weight. I live with infertility, but I also live for that "chance" that miracles happen, Coen is one of my miracles and maybe God is willing to give me another. Regardless, we beat infertility once and I am a survivor. We sometimes live paycheck to paycheck, but we always make ends meet and are able to provide for our boys everything they need in life. I may have to go to Mom and Dad sometimes for help, but I have a Mom and Dad that can help me. You see, with every negative thing, it can easily be turned into a positive. I want to surround myself and my boys with positive energy so that they can grow up and have the same outlook on life. I want them to know that if ever anything bad happens, you can turn it around and make it good.

A woman on my "Due in November 2009" message board posted yesterday that she lost her baby about a month ago, he just never woke up in the morning. When I read that, all I wanted to do was grab and hold my boys and never let go. This is the main reason for my post today, it really hit home that as bad as it is, it could always be worse.

I'm terrified of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) and I am very open about that fear. Coen doesn't sleep in his crib yet because I can't deal with him being away from me at night where I can't just lift my head up and check on him. I've even been told that I lost a cousin to SIDS and when I had to take the SIDS class and assessment for one of our daycare requirements, my fears went from a level 10 to level 10 million in .5 seconds. My friend Mandy suggested on her blog months ago about a monitor that she describes as nothing short of amazing. Its called the Angel Care Monitor and some of the key features are that it has an under-the-mattress sensor pad that detects baby movements and alarms if it detects no movement for 20 seconds. It has a nursery room temperature that displays on the parent's monitor and will alarm if the room is too hot or too cold for the baby to be in. It also automatically converts to battery in case of a power failure. Now, I'm not saying that this will relieve me of all fears and anxieties, but its a start. I spoke to Mandy last night about this monitor after reading that heartbreaking post and she said that I wouldn't regret the purchase and that she felt as though the monitor was worth 5 times the price. So, just in case you haven't figured it out, I will be purchasing this today.

Moving on, I apologize that I do not have any new pictures of the boys to post today. I tried to take pics of Coen the other day and my camera ran out of batteries, wouldn't you know it that I had zero AA batteries in the house to replace it. Then I thought, well I will treat my readers to a little video of Coen laughing, so I had Kyle quickly get the camera when I had Coen cracking up and as soon as he turned it on, the battery light came on and the damn thing shut off. Needless to say, I was bummed. Since then, the video camera has been charged and we still don't have batteries for the regular camera. I can take pics with the video camera, just haven't figured out that function yet. Last night I tried to get another video for you but I think Coen must be camera shy.... he becomes so interested in this weird object that I am pointing at him that he stops laughing and just looks at me with a confused face. Anyways, trust that this baby is smiling and laughing all the time! He is a very happy baby boy and we are enjoying each day more and more as he becomes increasingly playful and interactive. Cameron is still by far his favorite person and Coen's eyes just light up when he sees his big brother. Part of me is jealous of Cameron, but then I think how blessed I am to have two brothers that love each other so much.

I guess thats going to be it for me today. Oh one last note, one of my best friends Amanda has been on bedrest with 2 months to go before her baby boy, Brady, is ready to make his arrival. Sonograms confirmed that Brady has increased fluid in one of his kidneys that is now at the "severe" mark. Amanda has been going to Dr. appointments and will be seeing the specialist at Childrens Hospital on Monday to review her case and let Amanda know whether Brady will need surgery right after he is born. Kyle and I have been praying for Amanda, Jay and baby Brady daily and we wish them the best right now. Please have them in your thoughts and wish for good news on Monday!

Til then...