Keep on Praying for Baby Boo!

When I left work yesterday for lunch, I met Kyle at his job and we ate together. We sort of talked about the situation, but more so, I just needed him to get me to think about anything else. He is quite stunned and upset himself, so that wasn't very easy for him to do. I think we both keep thinking, why? Why would this happen? It's a fair question, wouldn't you say?

I went home after having lunch with Kyle, I just didn't feel as though I would be very useful at work. The first thing I did when I got home was take another preg test, and the line was at least two shades darker than that same brand I took on Monday. I re-evaluated the test I took yesterday morning compared to the one I took on Tuesday morning, and it was definitely a shade or two darker as well. I took another test this morning, it was one of those cheapos but it was all I had left. It was considerably darker than the one I took on Monday as well, but thats all I had to compare it too because I hadn't taken anymore of those. I just have to pray and keep hope alive that this was a late implanter and that this little bean will stick, grow big and strong- and be around in 9 months to greet us all! Thats the only thing I can do at this point.

When I got to work this morning, I had another message from Shady Grove. Great, what now? Does the nurse want to put another dagger into my heart? Well it was Dr. Levy- and I was really excited to hear his voice. I enjoy that he took the time out to call me regardless of what he was going to say. Anyways, he said he just wanted to comment that although the levels were low, it really could go either way and that we are just going to be on the fence until Friday. Well, damn. I will tell you, hearing him say that, and just knowing that my tests are getting darker really gave me a big boost of hope. He was realistic in his message, but not a Debbie Downer like my nurse was yesterday. I told Kyle last night, I wish the nurse would have just called and said that I had a positive pregnancy but nothing is set in stone until we do a repeat beta on Friday. Thats all she had to say. Instead, she hit me with a ton of bricks, telling me that in her opinion it didn't look good- and when I told her I was going to stay optimistic because of my darker tests, she kind of laughed it off. I told Kyle, if we are unfortunate with this pregnancy but fortunate in the future to try again, I will keep Dr. Levy is a heartbeat, but Nurse Mary has got to go. During observations while I was doing injections, she was wrong about when she thought I was going to trigger. When the embabies were growing in the lab, she was wrong when she told me she thought we were going to do a 3day transfer...it ended up being a 6 day! She has consistently given me her opinions that have been wrong- so I'm praying that this last opinion she gave me is wrong too!

I just wanted to say, that I have some amazing friends and family. Kyle is an absolute angel. I know that he loves me and will support me. I know that whatever happens we will be together FOREVER.

Jess Cullen, Jess Mcleod, Erin, Mom, Lynnea, Nicole and everyone else...thank you for your warm wishes and happy thoughts. Amanda, the conversation we had last night is not one I will ever forget. When we got off the phone I told Kyle, wow, Amanda really is an amazing friend. Thank you for being there for me every step of the way during this process.

So for now, lets just keep our fingers crossed for Baby Boo to make it thru these early stages. Kyle and I will pray, and we want to thank all of you for your overwhelming support and love.