Need Your Support Please

I already got a call from the nurse, she asked if I was sitting down because she said she had news that was going to make this a very hard phone call. My heart sank.

My bloodwork shows that I am indeed pregnant, however, the levels for the HCG hormone are very low at this stage of the game which can only mean two things. 1). The embryo was a late implanter in which case, it might take a little longer to get better numbers or 2). I will be miscarrying this baby.

I haven't told many this, but I did start getting positive pregnancy tests on Sunday, and each day since the faint line has gotten darker and darker, this morning being the darkest- so I am sincerely hoping that it was a late implant, but the nurse told me that the signs pointed to the fact that this isn't good.

I'm very distraught right now, I don't know what to think or how to feel. I want to stay optimistic and hope that my numbers go up when I go back from bloodwork on Friday...but I also need to keep grounded in the fact that anyday now I could start heavy bleeding and miscarrying our baby.

I'm supposed to be happy because this means that at least we know that I can conceive Kyle's child, but right now, all I can think of is how it will take over a year or more to save up to afford another cycle and that just kills my heart.

I'm sorry Kyle, I'm sorry that I might not be carrying this baby for us.